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February 1st, 2019

Week 10: Panel

Marriage Class Panel

Week 10
Goals:  (1) To model godly marriages; which means the choices of who you put up front matters.  Pick godly couples!  (2) To give real life examples of things that we have talked about in the class.  So the questions reflect the material taught in the class. 

To the panelists:  Not everyone will have to answer every question.  I will just put the questions out there, and see whoever chooses to answer it.  Be careful of statements like, “We’ve got a great marriage” or “He is really easy to follow.”  If that is true, be honest and tell folks, but remember how struggling couples will hear a statement like that and feel like you can’t relate to them.  So, be honest about your weaknesses, so that couples who are struggling won’t feel isolated.  In a fallen world, every couple has struggles.  

  1. On leading your wife…
    • To the Men: Talk about leading in a marriage.  What have been the joys and what have been the struggles?   
    • To the newly married husband: Any surprises in leading your wife?  
    • To the older married husbands: What perspective can you give us on how your leadership has changed ever since you first got married? (The older married wife is welcome to answer this, too).
  2. On submitting to your husband…
    • To the wives: Talk about submitting in marriage.  What have been the joys and the struggles?
    • To the newly married wives: Any surprises in submitting to your husband?  
    • To the older married wives: What perspective can you give us on how your submission to your husband has changed ever since you first got married?
  3. More on Husbands and Wives
    • To the husbands: How do you help your wife feel loved and cherished in your marriage?   (To the wives:  How do your husbands do this?)
    • To the husbands: Are you deliberate in shepherding/discipling your wife, and if so, tell us about this?  (To the wives:  How do your husbands do this?)  [You can ask this question if you don’t ask the leadership question above - #1]
    • To the wives: We talked about the home being the primary domain for the wives.  What have been some joys and struggles in doing this?  Help us to understand what the Lord has done in shaping your calling to be a homemaker and how you have grown in this area.
    • To the wives: if you work outside of the home, tell us how it is going and how you and your husband have thought through the balance of your outside work (job outside the home) and inside work (‘job’ inside the home)?
  4. On Forgiveness…
    • When forgiveness happens between the two of you, what does it look like? Who initiates? What do you usually say or do? After the initial fight or offense, how long does it take to get to a place where you are willing and able to forgive?
    • Have you ever struggled with forgiving your spouse?
  5. Biblical and Unbiblical communication
    • To the husbands: How do you take initiative and try to lead in your communication?
    • To the wives: Can you talk about confronting your husband in sin?  What do you do when you know he is wrong—do you nag? Pray? Speak up?   What kind of input do you get to have in the family decision-making?
    • More generally, can any of you talk about handling conflict, apologizing, and seeking forgiveness? What has helped you to handle conflict better in your marriage? 
    • As you have grown in your faith, how has your communication changed?
  6. The Blessings of Children
    • When did you decide to have children?
    • How has your marriage helped or hindered your parenting?
    • Talk to us about the hard but also the joyful parts of parenting?
    • How did you make the decision to stop having children?
  7. Miscellaneous
    • Are there any struggles in your marriage you like to share with us?
    • Tell us about your devotional life – both individually and together?
    • How has being a member of this church (or another gospel preaching church prior to CHBC) been a help to your marriage? 
  1. Hopefully, we will leave a little time for questions from the audience.